I’m nearing my brink.
The one where I’m over this.
We aren’t in a relationship.
We are people living together, with our own responsibilities and separate lives, and it’s not worth me being sad that we struggle. Don’t worry. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I put myself here expecting so much from us; a romantic pair.
And it sucks because I love you so much..
But I’m tired of sitting around.
I’m tired of not knowing anybody and being afraid to make friends because you might not like them.
I’m tired of being told right from wrong.
Even though you usually make the better decision.
But if I feel like this, enough to get on some stupid blog about it, it must mean something.
The worst part is that I’m not sure where it would get any better. I’m stuck. Mentally. I’m sad and tired and unmotivated.
and all I wanted to do was get away and look at some fucking fish at an aquarium.
sometimes I’d rather be a spirit watching all of you live instead.
Sometimes just that slight second of remembering you breaks me down.
I wish you never met him.
I wish he never came back.
Sometimes it makes me wonder if I was just a pawn to fill the void.
I just wish you two didn’t have to ruin me before you deserted me.
I hate you. Both of you.
Two years and it still hurts.